Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
