he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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