Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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