summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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