so explain again why im purple
no
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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