I wish I could punch you in the face.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
