if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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