I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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