p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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