i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
