OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he was CRYING into my vagina
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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