I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
