would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
