How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
