Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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