look no pants
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
