rhymes with "ouble enetration"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize