I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
