Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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