i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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