Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
