I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
