I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
