new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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