when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
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