Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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