he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
