Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
