i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
