you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It's shark week go big or go home
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
