I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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