That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
