I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
