put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
