Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize