i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
