I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize