my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
