I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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