I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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