what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
