I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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