Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
