i was born a porn star she said
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize