the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
