he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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