I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
