you win again, gameday.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
