let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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