If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Bring me that man meat
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
