well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
