"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I smell like Dick and happiness
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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