Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
