just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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