Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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