I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize