I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
