I am puke
Someone shit on the floor
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you traded sex for a burrito?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
