she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
