all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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