Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
