we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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