Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize