He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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