Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
