You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
