new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
