I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
