Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
