Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
